>Clarence: And off your monkey goes. There’s nothing to do here, you might as well go out to investigate the place some more. And possibly gloat at Amabel.

You’re also on a mission to find the stupid monkey who ruined your sexy time with that horrid pink color.

Clarence: Lady! Did you make Philip’s hair pink with your weird science stuff?

Amabel: What? No! I didn’t do anything to Philip’s hair.

Clarence: Damn it! I could have sworn it was you!

Amabel: Why do you always blame me? 

Clarence: Because I don’t like you.

Amabel: Well I don’t like you either. Why was Philip’s shirt missing? And yours too?

What should you tell her?

>Philip: Clarence’s right - maybe it will wash off. You should go take a shower as quick as you can. That is, unless you like your new hair.

You exit Clarence’s room and ask Amabel for directions.

Philip: AMABEL WHERE’S THE SHOWER?

Amabel: Uh… Over there. Philip why aren’t you wearing a shirt?

Philip: I’m not wearing a shirt? Clarence damn it-

Amabel: Clarence…?

Philip: I GOTTA TAKE A SHOWER BYE!

>Clarence: Ask what the hell just happened and poke Philip’s newly coloured hair.

Clarence: What the hell is this supposed to be?

Philip: Ohhh nooooo… My hair…. whhhhyyyyyy?

Clarence: Maybe it’ll wash off? Your hair already got messy anyway.

Philip: WHHHYYYYYYYYY?

>Anon: Use your Anon magic to give Philip hot pink hair

>Spike: Question who is submiting all of these commands and how much longer this homoerotic scene will last.

Fluffy: Besides, I thought you liked it, eh? Shhhhhh

Spike: ….

Fluffy: But I think someone will discover them anyway.

Spike: Oh.

Fluffy: But you know it’ll have to happen one day, you can’t escape the homoerotic things that shall happen eventually…

>Amabel: Why not go find Philip and Red just to see what’s going on, hm? They’ve been gone for a while now.

Well Red is right here mumbling about romance novels.

But what have those two been doing in that room for so long?

You hope Clarence didn’t kill Philip or anything…

>Philip: Flail your arms around and say “I’m not a homosexual” to Clarence

It’s a bit too late for that…

WOAH WHERE ARE YOU TOUCHING-

>Clarence: See that? Philip kissed you. You should kiss him back. What are you waiting for, boy, stop standing there like a stunned bird and hop to it!

Well okay if you say so-

>Philip: Because he wanted to? In that case, grab him and kiss him. This might backfire on you, but hey, it’s not like there’s anything else to do, right?

Oh…

Okay.

You proceed to smooch Clarence

Why did you get such an idea?

>Clarence: Say you felt like it - the road you’ll probably take, say you like him - the road full of sugar and kittens and rainbows, or you can just answer him however.

What do you do?

wait you got this.

Clarence: Because I wanted to.

Philip: But why exactly Clarence?

Clarence: I just said- because I wanted to.

>Red: Begin work on your own romance novel. just like in all your books!!

Yes! All those lonely nights in the mine writing fanfiction will finally have a use!

>Philip: Process all that just happened and ask Clarence why he kissed you. Again.

Philip: Uh… Clarence, why did you… Kiss me? Again?

>Clarence: That was the best hissing noise ever. Go see how Philip’s holding up, since the last time you kissed him he kind of had a mental breakdown.

DON’T YOU DARE DO THAT TO ME RIGHT NOW PHILLY

also that awesome hiss you did must be a hidden tuurngait talent of something.

>Clarence: Hiss at Red and kick him out for interrupting.

You make the best hissing sound you can conjure, which is actually quite good, and kick him out of the room… Well push him out of the room technically. 

>DorkAlert: Ask for the help of your fellow co-workers. Surely they will help you, right?

They seem rather scared to help you.

Due to the scary fuss the boss is making behind you.

>Someone: Help.

Heeeyyyy calm dowwwn everyone~

what are you arguing aboouut?