>DorkAlert: HOW ABOUT PHILIP OR MY DUMB HUSBAND GIVE YOU A HAND WITH THOSE GROCERIES

You are too busy having a screaming match with your dumb boss.

>Philip: Try to hide your boner

I DON’T HAVE ONE!!!

>DorkAlert: Come home from picking up grocerys for everyone *hinted sexism*

HAVE YOUR GROCERIES.

You were not happy about this job

So you throw these at the boss

and there are so many more bags to carry in still.

>Clarence: Kiss Philip again

>Red: tell Clarence and Philip what a cute couple they make

RED

WHERE DID YOU COME FROM

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE

>Clarence: Bask in the fact that Philip is HUGGING you. Of his own accord. And that he’s concerned about your feelings, as well as the fact that he left the lady outside and stayed with YOU.

Why is he doing this? You don’t really understand, but there’s this really nice feeling you have- all warm and happy or something weird like that.

Ugh, what’s happening to you?

>Philip: Ask Clarence if he feels better.

Philip: Do you feel any better I hope?

Clarence: …Yeah I guess.

Philip: That’s good.

>Philip: Try a hug. Hugs are like freshly baked cookies that aren’t eaten. Warm and sweet. Yeah, that’ll work.

>Philip: What are you waiting for? A green light? Go comfort Clarence, even if he’s all ‘BITCH I DON’T NEED YOUR SYMPATHY’.

What do I do…? This is new to me…

>Kitten: Scold Anon, formally introduce selves.

Kitten: Stop that! You’re scaring her!

Anon: ?

Kitten: Sorry about that Amabel, we haven’t been introduced properly, have we?

Amabel: Uh, no, I suppose not.

Kitten: I’m Spike and this is-

Anon: Call me Anon.

Spike: Why are you still doing that?!

Anon: Shhhhhhhh

Spike: Don’t shh me-

Anon: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHH…

>Fluffy Boss: Make sure your bitches are doing their work

Hmm yes, Fabulous idea. They might be wasting time. Though you do have all the time in the world…

Thanks to this.

Fluffy boss: ‘Ello!

Spike: Why can’t you just walk over here like a normal person?

Fluffy boss: Because dimension doors are fun.

>Anon: Ask Amabel tmi questions.

Anon: What type of underwear do you wear on saturdays?

Amabel: wat

>Amabel: See the tiny kitten person. Find it adorable and go play with it.

Cuteness is good!

>Amabel: feel awfully pleased with yourself

Ahhh… You really needed to let off that stress from all this time.

You’ll apologize later.

>Philip: Try to calm Clarence down before he charges after Amabel or decides to turn that undiluted fury onto you.

Clarence: …Is she gone?

Philip: What? Yes she is…

Clarence: …

Philip: Clarence…?

Clarence: nnnngh… why does this fuckin’ hurt so much…

Philip: Clarence…

This is so weird, your worst enemy…

He’s done so many horrible things to you and everyone else…

Yet right now he looks so innocent.

>Philip: Do you not SENSE that wave of pure rage? Get Amabel the fuck outta there before Clarence unleashes his fury on her.

Philip: AMABEL YOU HAVE TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW!

Amabel: Wha-?

Amabel: …What?

You have shoved Amabel outside by herself. 

>Clarence: Bite that bitch for hitting you. NO ONE does that and gets away with it! ..Except maybe Philip but she’s not Philip, so.

OH MY GOD THIS HURTS

OW

PAIN IS BAD

SHE HIT ME

WHAT THE FUCK

SHE…

THIS BITCH FUCKING HIT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE.

YOU DO NOT FUCKING HIT CLARENCE
WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?

YOU ARE GOING TO MESS THIS FUCKER UP

Philip: Clarence are you okay?!

Amabel: ….

Philip: Clarence…?